Week 18: The Last Goodbye

No one can escape the fact that all good things must eventually come to an end.  People say the time flew by, that they can hardly believe it is over.  The time passed, but my time abroad honestly felt like a robust four and a half months.  Without the intense academic and student organization pressures from home, life moved a little more slowly in all honesty.  I had time to take in and absorb the moments, while keeping this blog helped me record many of them.  Of course, some weeks passed by rather quickly, but my time does not feel like a blur.  I believe wholeheartedly that I used my time, money, and resources well to make a collection of memories which will last a lifetime.  Saying goodbye to Austria was thus definitely not an easy task.

11 May

Monday was such a crazy day!  I woke up super early to get ready to go to my teaching internship for the last time and to put the final touches on my lesson for the day, which comprised of English sentences describing buildings on the Ringstrasse in Vienna.  I hurried over to school for the last time and taught my lesson on the Ringstrasse, which ended up being a dictation of the sentences to the students.  We had a lot of fun with the younger students in the second class, since I created a lesson on the spot about parties. We played pin the tail on the donkey and talked about different words used at parties.  It was definitely one of my highlight lessons of the semester, even though I planned it on the spot with Eva Maria's help!  We took a break afterwards and went into the courtyard, where the students played for awhile.  One of my favorite students, Carlos, approached me and asked me about a problem he faced.  He said that he wants to be an English teacher, but feels like he can't easily be one, since they do not earn much money.  He needs to find another job, so that he can support a wife and family when the time comes.  I suggested perhaps trying to find work that incorporates English, but I felt his pain, as I face the same challenge.  

In the final period of the morning, we had a farewell party with the older students.  I had baked them blueberry muffins and presented them to the students now, then expressed my appreciation for the semester.  The students did the same and one girl, Christina, even gave me muffins which she had baked herself!  I was totally surprised, since she often remained quiet in class and I had not interacted with her as much.  I guess you never really know the impact you leave on students.  I also said my final good-bye to Eva Maria, by giving her a special card and a chocolate bar.  She has left a deep mark upon my heart, by all she taught me about refugees and immigrants and educating them.  I will never forget the lessons I learned from her.

My students

Eva Maria and I

After finishing at school, I participated in a Kaffeestand (coffee stand) on the University of Vienna's campus for ÖSM.  We gave out free coffee to students passing by, along with information about upcoming events.  I enjoyed talking with a few of the students for the last time and then said my farewells to everyone.  I've greatly appreciated the spiritual encouragement of this student ministry and will remember the times with them for many years to come.

Freedom to soak in the joys of Vienna uninhibited stood on the horizon as I rode the public transportation back to IES to take my Managing Behavior in Organizations exam.  I frantically reviewed a few final notes on the way over and in the waiting room before my exam.  Fortunately, the test did not end up being quite so difficult as I thought and I was able to write solid essay answers to almost all the questions, only forgetting a few details.  Hopefully my second exam turned out as well as my midterm!  I walked out of the exam feeling like I had a load lifted off my shoulders.  My only responsibility left was my German exam on Friday, which I knew would be a piece of cake.  So I felt SO gloriously free!  Free to begin my responsibilities of cleaning up the apartment and preparing for my departure, that is (in reality).  Sadness.  But buying gifts for all my friends in Vienna and people back home ended up not really being all that sad, since preparing to give always puts joy in my heart.

12 May

I met with Amina quickly in the morning to give her the money for my final heating bill and to say good-bye.  I expressed my deep gratefulness for the opportunity she gave me to live in Vienna in one of their apartments and the way she so often helped me, whether with directions, printing, or recovering after forgetting my passport for a trip.  So thankful that she always remained there for me!  Amina was thankful to have me in the apartment as well and explained the whole situation with the heat, which helped me understand it much better.  I said farewell to her and then headed over to eat brunch with Katie at Café Demel, where I bought ridiculously priced hot chocolate.  Never again.  We then wandered over to the gorgeous main building of the University of Vienna, where she showed me her lecture hall with its horrifically uncomfortable, straight-backed wooden benches.  The outside of the building was pretty, though!

I met with Meral in the afternoon to talk about my apprehension in returning to IU to my old student organization positions, since I had not moved up farther after studying abroad.  She acknowledged the difficulty of the situation, but encouraged me to enter the situation with a prepared attitude.  I should ask myself how to turn these old positions into a new learning opportunity and to recognize the difficulties which I will overcome.  She also encouraged me to think of ways to continue excelling in the work involved in the positions and the way I can best benefit other students around me.  It helped to think through the challenges I will face and to voice the difficulties I feel internally, along with orienting my mind for a positive start next school year.

I worked on more personal things in the afternoon and ran over to Franziska's office later in the day to give her a chocolate bar from Switzerland as a parting gift.  Then I headed over to the Donau Canal, where I ran into Georg and Julia as we all headed to a Strandbar (makeshift beach bar along the Danube canal) to meet with Lisa and a friend of hers.  We met Lisa there and all enjoyed talking for awhile, until Georg and Julia had to take off to watch a soccer game with their friend Patrick.  They gave me a picture of us together as a parting gift and I hugged them good-bye.  I will definitely miss them, since I loved seeing them around our apartment and getting to know them better.  They were always so friendly - often inviting me to go out with them, telling me about Burgenland, and so many other things.  It was so kind of them to reach out to me and welcome me into their life here in Austria!  I stayed with Lisa at the bar for a couple more hours, just enjoying the fact that we could all easily carry a conversation on in German.  Hours like these remind me again and again why I love learning languages in the first place.

Georg, Julia, and I

13 May

A couple weeks before, I contacted my cousin Anna's aunt in Ulm who had wanted me to come for a visit.  She had primarily kept up the contact with my mom's family after it had been partially lost at some point in the 20th century, so visiting perhaps meant the most to her of all my distant relatives in Germany.  We had arranged a visit and I had bought my tickets to Ulm last week.  So I woke up at an unearthly hour and headed through the city to drive off by bus to Ulm.  I felt very unfortunate, because I had no free seat next to me during the entire 8 hour bus ride there (with a stop in-between in Munich).  I met an interesting guy on the stretch from Munich to Ulm, who is a semi-professional actor and recently worked on a film with Nicholas Cage.  He said Nicholas is very closed off in person, but he met some other famous person (I forget who) that is really quite friendly and open with his co-workers.  Interesting experience...I never met someone who worked with Nicholas Cage before!

When I arrived, I timidly walked off the bus, not exactly knowing the appearance of the person who would pick me up.  I looked around and finally the brother of Tante Leni (Anna's aunt), Jakob Klassen, spotted me.  The family later tried to ask me if I recognized him by familial appearance, but I can't exactly said I did.  Upon further reflection, I realized his striking blue eyes as the similar feature from my Oma's side.  Jakob is married to Rosa and they work together in a Tierforschung (animal research center) and live in an apartment in Neu-Ulm.  Ulm lies in Baden-Württemberg, while Neu Ulm lies across the Donau in Bavaria.  They took me back to their apartment, where Rosa stuffed me full of good food from Kazakhstan and then let me shower and nap.  We talked about their lives in Ulm and their 6 weeks of vacation per year, since they are on vacation from work right now!  We also talked about their love for fishing in the nearby lakes and for roasting and eating sunflower seeds.

After my nap, Jakob drove me over to the house of Johann, his youngest brother who has 6 children!   I met Tante Leni there and we celebrated the birthday of Johann's wife, Nellie, with a delicious barbecue and dessert.  Johann's other brother, Alfred, and his wife Ellie were also present at the celebration.  I talked with Johann's children (Christian, Richard, Jana, Ellen, Gabriel, Lisa) and Tante Leni quite a bit and then we spent quite a bit of time in the yard playing badminton and just talking with each other.  We gathered under the porch when it started to rain and shared stories about life with the family in Canada and in Germany, then later moved inside for a bit of tea and talking with boys after the others moved on to cleaning up and to bed.  What a lovely day!

14 May

I spent the night at Johann and Nellie's and woke up for a late, but delicious, breakfast of pretzels, bread, cheese, and spreads.  The pretzels were definitely some of the best I have eaten in Germany so far!  I gathered all my things together and Richard drove Jana, Ellen, Lisa, and I over to Tante Leni's house to start our day poking around Ulm.  We took a leisurely walk down to the old town through some fields and across the Donau, enjoying the beautiful blossoming trees along the way.  We stopped for smoothies partway into town and I got a delicious flavor called Meerjungfrau, which I think basically means "mermaid", but don't quote me on that.  It just had a bunch of really delicious berries in it.  We slowly ate our smoothies and meandered over to the Ulmer Münster, which is actually the highest church tower in the world!  Jana, Ellen, Lisa, and I decided to climb the tower using a sharply winding set of steps in a very narrow tower.  As always, this cathedral did not fail to amaze me with its intricacy.  Climbing it made me truly experience its intricacy and beauty, especially when we stopped in a small room above the bells and saw several pictures of the most famous cathedrals around Europe.  We finally made it to the top and then Ellen, Lisa, and I climbed a staircase to the very tip of the cathedral tower, from which we could look out on a balcony over the giant valley.  We made our way back down after absorbing the breathtaking views and all we could say at the bottom of the tower was, "Meine Beine zittern!" (My legs are shaking!).  Lisa counted and we estimated that there are approximately 620 steps to the top of the tower!  We wandered around a bit inside the beautiful cathedral with Tante Leni and I was particularly struck with the many old medieval paintings still clearly visible on the walls.  I reassured Tante Leni that this visit to the cathedral really made my visit worthwhile, when she asked me if I had any doubts!

Ellen, Leni, Lisa, and I

View from the cathedral tower

Medieval artwork

Fishermen's quarter

We grabbed a small bite to eat and contained wandering around Ulm into the Fishermen's Quarter, which is a beautiful little area of the town which reminded me of Venice.  Little canals weave in and around the quaint houses, built in the old Fachwerk style.  One house had these funny bowed and crooked walls and was aptly named the "Crooked House" in German!  Tante Leni bought us ice cream on the way back to her house and Lisa just barely made it back - that poor little girl was so very tired after our long hike up the church tower and back!  We talked a little more at Tante Leni's apartment and then Nellie came to pick her girls up.  I took a rest, since I felt rather tired still.  Leni made some supper for me later and we talked about her experiences growing up in Kazakhstan, as she flipped through an old photo album with me which she had brought along in her suitcase to Germany.  I found it fascinating to see that all the pictures in Kazakhstan were taken in black-and-white, even through the 1990s, and that the Germany pictures suddenly were taken in color.  What an incredible representation of the change in their lives between these times!  Leni explained the difficulties to me once again and about the many years it took to become re-established in Germany, after leaving behind their money and careers in Kazakhstan.  I greatly appreciated hearing the stories from her and experiencing the love she showed me, despite the significant distance in our familial relationship.  Jakob and his wife Rosa drove me over to the train station, where I freaked out because I thought I forgot my train ticket.  I checked again and I actually had it with me, so we had time for final good-byes and a couple pictures.  Jakob and Rosa actually brought me a bag of sunflower seeds and a magnet of Ulm as a good-bye present!  They were so sweet!  I hugged everyone and headed off on the train.  I studied for my German final the next day and pondered on my gratefulness for spending the time in Ulm with these lovely relatives.  The trip was a whirlwind, but totally worth it!

Rosa, Jakob, and I

Rosa, Leni, and I

15 May

I headed over to IES in the morning to write my German final, not really feeling like I had prepared sufficiently for the test.  I ended up having studied well and wrote the test without significant difficulty, then took a couple pictures with my German teachers and gave them their thank-you cards.  I will miss Frau Schachermeier and Frau Sernett so much - they taught me loads about German language and grammar and Austrian culture!  I truly feel like I have a much deeper grasp of the language and culture through their teaching, especially more nuanced areas in language.  They will definitely receive visits from me on my next trip to Austria!

Frau Schachermeier and I

Frau Sernett and I

I met up with Lisa and Max for one last time and we had lunch at a yummy Italian place, Vapiano's, where I got a mushroom risotto that I could hardly finish!  My love for mushrooms is really quite a problem.  Lisa and I talked quite a bit in line and we both noticed that the cook for pasta looked oddly like her brother, Georg.  Then we made the creepy realization that his name was Georg!  We got our food and sat down at a table, but I found it a little hard to talk during the meal because an awkward large lamp separated us in the middle of the table.  We talked more on the way home and I learned that Lisa and Max will likely work for the post in the summer and now Lisa needs to finish up writing her Bachelorarbeit (bachelor's degree thesis), while Max plans to write his admissions test for medical school soon.  I bet they are going to be incredibly successful scientific professionals when they start their careers!  I found it hard to say farewell to Lisa, since she answered so many of my questions while here and helped me through difficult times with the apartment situation.  She showed me real friendship and kindness, reaching across cultural barriers to help make my time in Austria a pleasant one.  I will hopefully see them in San Francisco in September, but I still need to order my tickets.

Max, Lisa, and I (w/ random man in background)

I spent the rest of Friday sadly packing up my room and cleaning the apartment.  I promised myself I would get lots of sleep that night and be well-rested for my travel on Saturday, but of course, that didn't happen.  I stayed up late in the night getting everything all sorted and squeezed into my suitcase for the journey home.

16 May

I woke up early on Saturday morning to meet Katie for breakfast at Café Himmelblau, where we talked about my going home and her plans with friends over the next few weeks.  She had three dear friends coming from England to visit and greatly looked forward to spending much time with them for an entire week!  I didn't exactly feel sad to be leaving Austria, but more numb.  I would miss everyone here, but I also felt stressed out about arrangements back home for my senior year and wanted to return to sort through them.  We enjoyed our breakfast, except for the fact that I completely swiped our glasses off the table while standing up to pay my check.  The loud bang caught the attention of everyone in the restaurant, but the waiter graciously cleaned up the mess.  I must have been a basket of nerves inside, but Katie and I eventually got out of the restaurant and hugged each other good-bye.  I thanked her for her friendship and headed back to my apartment to pick up my suitcases to travel through the city all the way down to the airport.

A mix of feelings wafted through me as I headed towards the airport and traveled home.  I didn't really cry uncontrollably, but I think I had been a bit sick and upset inside the past few days over the prospect of leaving Vienna, a city which I truly came to love.  As a study abroad student, you put yourself so fully into your life for 4.5 months with full knowledge of the end, which makes you take advantage of every moment.  You have to live without thinking about the end, then everything stops.  Perhaps that it was permeated my thoughts - everything stopped so abruptly.  I knew this inevitable moment would one day arrive and frankly, it felt sad.

Fortunately, I had no travel mishaps to cry over during the day, except for the fact that I stupidly put my toiletries in my carry on and had to turn them over to the authorities.  My main suitcase was not even overweight, which I definitely thought would happen.  I boarded my flight to Munich on time, made my connection in time, and then headed to Chicago on a 9-hour flight.  I watched several movies, including one called Honig im Kopf (Honey in the Head).  The film tells the story of a family who takes in their grandfather with Alzheimer's and cares for him.  They struggle to treat him properly, so the 11-year old daughter takes her grandfather on a trip to Venice to give him a new purpose.  I think my tears over remembering my own grandma's struggle with Alzheimer's and my sadness to leave Austria came out of the floodgates, since I bawled my way through half the movie.  The lady sitting next to me on the plane probably thought I have psychological issues.

Well, the plane didn't crash and wasn't hijacked, so I arrived safely in Chicago.  My baggage arrived safely and I talked to a few students from the Dominican Republic, while waiting for my bus to South Bend to arrive.  Apparently I can still speak basic Spanish and remember a lot of obscure words, but struggle to put them into coherent thoughts.  Good to know.  Even better was seeing my parents and catching up with them over the weekend, before heading off to Chicago on Tuesday for my internship with Siemens.  This officially meant the semester finally came to a close, after exceeding my expectations in many ways.  God brought everything together with classes, housing, finances, and community incredibly!  As I face this unknown future, why should I doubt His greatness and goodness?